Sabotage!!

I guess it could seem that I've already sabotaged myself due to my lack of blogging my progress. I truly have had much to blog, but just haven't taken the time to do it. I suppose I need to get it into part of some sort of routine. That's asking  a lot for me though, since routine has never been one of my strong points and actually something I have rebelled against as a mother. I absolutely hate to live a life knowing everything that comes next and being restricted to the same "processes" every day.  This is actually a big fault of mine, even though I feel most of the time I feel my bendyness is a huge strength. I don't get up in the morning and rarely fall asleep at night on time, which both in turn mess up my kids' limited schedules.

It is true, though, I have been living a life of sabotage. Food as long been my comfort in stressful times along with my form of "punishment" to myself. Instead of hurting myself physically I stuff myself sick. I suppose they are one in the same. I am definitely in a rut lately and I have yet to figure out why. Not much has changed, except maybe with every day that goes by I get further frustrated at things beyond my control that hold me back. This turns into excuses and all together turn into anger for me. I have a short fuse as it is and little things make it spark more. It is my hope that exercise helps get aggression out, but the effects have only been seen in my sometimes elevated mood and my frustration of not getting it done has mostly taken over and turned me into somewhat of a wretched bitch most of the time. Seems as if I have a lot of figuring out to do. And working harder of course. I'm going to start a new post with my recent "accomplishments" instead of sticking them in this Debbie Downer post. New light.