Trainah Shaina

Twenty- eight years old and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Originally I wanted to be a psychologist, then I started college with a social work major. Since I dropped out my life has changed so drastically so many time that I am a completely different person then I was 2 years ago, 6 years ago, and 10 years ago when I graduated high school. I can't imagine having gone through school and dealt with change and different needs and wants and still be happy. I'm not happy with my "career" right now, but it's a job and it somewhat pays the bills. Ok, I hate it, I sit at a desk and I get paid jack. I love dealing with the data, but my attention span sucks. 

I have been thinking for quiet some time about what job I could do that's active. I thought about being a cop though I know that my shyness and stomach churn at the sight of blood are probably not quite quality traits. Firefighter... not much of a selection of paid jobs around my area. Adventure leader... not quite mom hours friendly. I've also thought about being a nutritionist. It can be a career that's not all desk work and still has the data that I love plus something I would really like to be passionate about. Then my thoughts continue on that plane into the real physical part of taking care of oneself... What about a physical trainer? Could I actually do something like that? Well, sure, if I put some real effort into it. Being a physical trainer/ nutritionist combines both the healthy living ideas that I have been striving for and even the mental and emotional health that I have always been interested in. For now, I will list this as my career goal and will do what I can to work towards it.

And this brings me to my activity for last evening. My sister finally put fears aside and joined me for a gym session. This was my first opportunity to put my "training" skills to test. Seeing that I don't have any trained skills and am going off of Youtube and various web/ magazine/ book references, high expectations weren't brought to the table. What was brought to the table was an expectation that she tried and my printout of the Spartacus Workout that I keep in my running jacket pocket. The last time I did this workout I busted butt when my legs gave up getting off the treadmill after I felt that they were too wobbly for a cool down. At least I realized it before some horrible belt burn incident! 

My sis did pretty well for not having worked out for a few years. We did a 10 minute treadmill warm up and she jogged a half mile. I got stuck with the dreaded elliptical and powered through that for a mile. Damn I hate that thing and all the people next to me pretending to do something on them. I attempted to mentally prepare her for the suck that was to come, but she knew, she knows how I roll. We spent 2 hours at the gym, a lot more talking then I ever do (since I never EVER talk at the gym). She did well, gave up a little much, and I was a little too nice but chose to set an example and do a few extra than necessary after she gave up. I guess with her asthma and lack of exercise and the fact that she nearly sprained her ankle on the first round of sister kicks I felt a little bad. Plus she's my little sis. I'll get over this, if I can get her back in the gym.

I feel good. I love spreading the fitness bug and inspiring people to do better. I want everyone to prove something to themselves, for themselves. Everyone should have a goal that they are striving for beyond just making it through each day and paying the next bill. What is the point to life if you're not going to live it? It is such a waste to just live each day like the last and only look towards that for the future. Everyone should have health in mind no matter what, but what about goals about knowledge? You don't have to change your career if you learn something new, but every piece of knowledge you have will make you that much more valuable of a person.

So here are my goals as they stand right now. 

• Be strong, stay strong, get stronger. Physically and mentally. 
• Learn something new, find something you're really good at and love and make it happen. You will rot at this desk if you don't.
• Make yourself better so you can be a better mom, you're not the worst, but you can do so so so much better and they deserve it.
• Let go of the excuses. Whether they come from your imaginative mind or the person telling you you can't or shouldn't, let it go. Nothing and no one is more important than you when it comes to what you want and need. If they whole heartily disagree, screw 'em, even if they are the voice inside your head.

Like I told my friend the other day, if I want to really be a motivational physical and nutritional trainer I have to start with me and know that I can be strong and be that mentally and physically able person that I hope others can be.

It's a start...

I decided to start a blog a few weeks ago.. A week later decided to open an account and figured out I could link it to my e-mail. That was cool. A couple days later found an OK picture to throw on. And that brings me to now. I still can not figure out what I want to say. I know what I want to say, just not quite how to say it. For people that know me that would be hard to believe, Shaina having a word block. Of course for people who don't know me well that would make complete sense because I am usually the person sitting back quietly with little to say and a meek voice. I guess to most I am a mystery.... and that probably is why I am stuck knowing what exactly to say, since this is pretty much speaking in public, you just don't know I mumble and stutter.


I'll start with why. Why would I want to put myself out there when I'm obviously uncomfortable with it? Well, that's the point. I need to get over myself. I have a lot of things about my life I want to "get over" or "overcome" or just "do." I've spent a lot of my life just going with the flow, not being very strong, and not really accomplishing much of anything. I'm not going to go through my life story right now, hopefully that will come out with time, if I keep this up. 


For now, here's the low-down. The year 2010 was a big year for me, starting out with finally leaving my husband for good, getting an apartment (with a roommate), and becoming a sure thing single mom of 3 kids. It seems like it could be an awful, depressing time, but that was long before and I was finally free. I could do whatever I wanted and had no one to tell me no, or make sure that I wouldn't be able to do it. That's when my life finally became mine, and I don't think I ever had a moment since middle school when I can feel like that. Since then I've tried college classes, found time and focus for online classes are not my thing. I met a guy who some people may see as kind of a prick sometimes (yeah, I just said that) but to me, he's amazing, he's involved with himself, lets me do my thing, but we also can do everything together. I don't need someone up my butt all the time. I don't. Together we've tried so many new things from skimboarding, to paintball, video games to Magic the Gathering (shush your mouth, it's entertaining). I even taught him to play darts and he became pretty much the best player on our bar team. I found someone that likes to experience life like I do. Every aspect and it's fantastic, even if I have to deal with some a-hole here and there.


On May 22, 2010 my work held it's first annual 5k as a fundraiser. I had never run more than a mile in my life and committed myself to actually training and running it. Training started way too late for me and I ended up getting to that day with only week 4 of the C25K program under my belt. Oh well, here goes nothing. I ran it with my mother who had zero training and a bum knee and we kept it going the whole time, when she would have to walk I would run back and forth... We waved "Hi!" to my boyfriend as he doubled  back by us (yeah, he was almost twice as fast as us, damn Army guy) and I made sure she ran by and smiled like she had it all day. In the end, I ran the whole thing and I felt great and ready for more.

I could not believe it, I had actually run 3.1 miles. I was so hyped up that bf and I got home and immediately started scouring online for more races. I remembered that someone I knew was doing this thing called the Tough Mudder and we planned a trip to Florida to do one in December. Should have given us ample time to train. Unfortunately Army life got in the way along with a lot of other excuses and bf was gone to NJ for trainings a lot of the summer and upon his return in July announced he would be leaving for a year in September. 
That moment stopped a lot for me. It was a sad time. He ended up leaving in October and the sad times continued. The gym would happen, and then not... but I vowed that 2012 would be my year and I would do an obstacle race, no if's and's or but's. 


So that brings me here and now, to today, and how yesterday has brought me here to tell the world what I am overcoming, how I am overcoming it, and how it will make tomorrow. My hope is that if I put my self out there then I will feel obligated to do it. I don't make promises I can't keep. Ever. I don't even tell my kids where we're going ever just so I don't disappoint them because had some tragic event happen on the way. 


There's the start of my story and I'm sticking to it. Here goes EVERYTHING!