Surpassing Limitations, oh my!

Yesterday I totally surprised myself. I love when I do that. It was a day I have looked forward to since I signed up for the 10k race I was talked into signing up for. To date, this was definitely one of the races I've looked the most forward to because I was going to meet a bunch of Spartan Chicks and was able to run with them. These girls have really been a life saver for me in the past few months and they don't even know it. It's amazing how people around the country (and some cases around the world) can have such an influence on your life. There are so many inspiring stories, so many motivational moments, and always so much support in any situation. These girls care more than people I've known for years, they do so much more than most of the people in my life, they are just amazing. Being able to meet any of them in person is such a blessing and I want to take any opportunity.

So back to the race... I signed up for the race knowing that I would not have someone to watch my two youngest, but knowing my oldest would be able to go to her dad's or nana's. That's right, I signed up for the 10k to run with a 35 and 40 pound kid along with heavy jogging stroller, just to hang with awesome Chicks. And it was beyond well worth it.

I signed up about a month ago and was counting down the days and with each one getting a little more and more nervous. Then come Monday I came down with a cold. Of course... but that wasn't going to stop me. I did my regular gym training all week, except subbing my normal 3 hours of Y classes for a kinda lame-o Crossfit intro class, but didn't get my runs in, which was mega disappointing. Only a couple miles here and there, including a trail run with Mom. And to top it all off, I only ran with the jogging stroller once, just to start my oldest on training for a 5k, so it was a VERY easy run. Oh well, it wouldn't be the first race I was totally under prepared for. I was still so nervous I had nightmares the night before and sweat myself to death all night. I told one of the Chicks it was probably because there were actually people there at the race that I was running with and that I wanted to look good for. I usually run alone and it's either my mom/ sister or best friend at the finish line, or thereabouts. I mean, I always cross at my best for my kids, but these are SPARTANS! You know, the real ones who have run the races and crossed the Spartan finish line. I need respect from these people.

Race morning came and my cold had taken over and my nose and lungs... and the bright sunny day forecasted during the week turned into a high of 46 kinda day, and the race was in the morning. Oh well! We headed out for our ride up to Salisbury and I did what I never do and bought cold medicine. The least I could do for myself is get some relief in the nose region. When we arrived the sun was shining, my nose was partially cleared and I wasn't freaking out like I normally do. (Like really, why do I do that, like I'm going to win or something hahahahahahah). I was set to have a great day of fun.

Pre- Race Chick Pic

We met the chicks, and some man Spartans, and took some pictures, compared Spartan and other race schedules and headed to the start line. I told everyone that it was unlikely I would do much running due to my lack of training with the mileage and with the stroller, and because of my cold. As the race started I leisurely jogged. Stopped to take my sweatshirt off, jogged a little more, stopped to fix my iPod... then decided maybe I needed a little more seriousness and got my run on. "I'll just run until I can't, and I won't be too hard on myself when that happens," I thought. So I ran, down the trail, taking out my headphones to the girls' random toddler questions. I ran onto the road past the 2 mile mark, point the sign out to Saoirse letting her know we had a little more than 4 miles to go and it was now her job to watch and read the next 4 signs. We passed some people, got honked at and thumbs upped by passing vehicles, positive vibes from other runners, and passed the 3 mile mark no problem. This excited me because I plan to run with the kids in my work 5k (originally I hoped to run it and pass all my coworkers but my kid pusher backed out- ) so now it looks like I will definitely do well in front of coworkers pushing my kids. We kept up pace up the long slight inclines, passing some more people, more smiles, around mile 4.5 got an oh wow from a woman passing by. And I still felt great! It was around then I started passing some Spartan Chicks. It was then I felt oddly guilty. Like I should slow down and run with them. I felt like as I passed them I was ditching them. But I realized I had my own goals to meet, including to keep going, do good, and go way above and beyond my own expectations and if I could utter a few words in my exhausted breath to them that would suffice. I was going at a steady pace and there was no stopping me. 

Around the 6 mile mark I came behind a husband and wife and all I wanted to do was catch up to them. Unfortunately by that point my legs would only keep that pace and we hit the gravel making the stroller harder to push and I was going to be stuck at that point. I finished the race at 1:03 with Spartans cheering me in. It was so nice to actually have that, no one could cheer me in ever before. They even had a water bottle waiting!

What an incredible day being around people that get me! To me, they get life. They have goals, they take care of themselves and their bodies, and they take care of others around them. I am blessed to have these people to support me, and vice versa. I am so eager for the Spartan Races now I can't even stand it. Why can't I suddenly come across a little money so I can run some earlier races?! I don't want to wait until August!!

Post Race Chick Pic, Fancy Hair and All

I've always had a drug addiction

I have always said that I have an addictive personality. And there has never been denying my love of sweets, namely gummies. I once sat and ate a 5 pound bag of gummie bears in one work day. Mind you I was 16 and not overweight was so ever. Oh to have that wonderful metabolism again... Anyway, back to the topic at hand. As I have been saying I have been reading a lot about nutrition and diet to go along with my fitness and strength goals. I have been avoiding the sugar subject, knowing that it is my weakness and will probably be my hardest obstacle. As I have been reading more into it it seems even harder than I had imagined. Apparently sugar is in some surprising foods. Today I came across the video I have posted above from 60 minutes about sugar. Al bight the my-opinion-is-all-that-matters scientist, there is some shocking information. I couldn't say surprising, but definitely awakening. According to some researchers, sugar can be more addictive than cocaine and heroin. I couldn't agree more. When I get a sugar craving I need to feed it. Then when I do, I want more. There is never enough. And then the more I feed it the more I want. I am a regular binger. I hate it. I feel awful when I do it. And I don't know why I can't stop. It makes sense now.

This realization brings me back to times that I hate to relive. A past life of mine that I tend to repress, to try to pretend didn't happen, though I will not deny (but will skirt around the truth with my mom of course). I have changed myself so much over the years I never want to go back. And I definitely don't want to jump from unhealthy addiction to unhealthy addiction. I need to find a way to fill this need with something good, and I really need to figure out what it is and fast.

It's so strange that our society has grown into these food norms that are slowly killing us. It's scary actually. To think how hard it is to find foods that aren't full of sugars and fats to make it taste better after it's been processed so much. Man, I need to stop watching the documentaries. Or it's definitely time to make a big lifestyle change. Am I ready for the challenge?

Yes, I am hanging my head in shame. It has been quite some time since my last post. I suppose that one might think that this shows that I have not been holding myself very accountable by my actions. One thinks the truth. I'm a roller coaster, as I'm pretty sure I've insinuated before. Everything in my life goes up and down in a pretty exciting manner. But who's doesn't? I'm not the only one hanging on to this never ending ride. And I'm not going to complain about it, just go with the flow...

Bad news first or good news? Lets do bad... Eating right remains a big struggle. I have gained a bunch of weight back and it's hit me hard mentally. Of course, the eating goes with the emotional issues and... weee! merry-go-round. Yep, we're in one exciting amusement park aren't we? There have also been other health issues I've been dealing with so hopefully I will work it all out and get back into the swing of things.

Good News! While I have stopped doing my morning routine, I have exercised everyday besides one or two much deserved rest days. This alone has been a big mental struggle that I still fight with. Somewhere in my head there is this ridiculous voice that keeps saying no, don't do it, not today, you can find an excuse. Why? Where did this voice come from and why does it think these things? I WANT to exercise. I WANT to run. I WANT to be a strong bad-ass momma. Screw that voice. It's made me miss a few runs, it's made me lose a few reps in the gym, walk a couple steps up a hill, but overall I've told it to shut the hell up, there's always room for more. I had this discussion with my mother the other day about running and the voices in my head. You know, the little angel Shaina and that evil devil Shaina, floating around, screwing with my attention. "It's too far, you're shins might explode if you go too much faster." "F that, devil Shaina. You can do this, you HAVE to do this. Your kids look up to you, you have to prove to them and everyone else you can." "Shut up you too, I definitely missed that whole song listening to you argue. I suppose I just missed that last mile too..."  I suppose the voices aren't so bad, as long as I over come.

So on with my accomplishments! I have run a 10k! Woot woot! My goal was to make it under an hour and I did it! 59:47 to be exact. I didn't meet my ongoing race goal (still) to be in the top half, but with 6500 runners at the race, I'm ok with that. Here's me and my two youngest after the race.

And here's us warming up before the race. The girls love to lunge. Notice my friend's son is still working on the squats we just completed.

Then last Saturday I completed a 4 miler and completed 3 goals. PR'd, beat my goal of 36 minutes (9 min miles) by 41 seconds- cutting it close again, and I made it in the top half of the nearly 1000 runners. There is a picture of me near tears with huge smile, but the two emotions put together in one face make one giant rec of a picture so here is one pre-race of me and my girls. 

Note the stroller in the above picture. It's a new-to-me training piece that I have agreed to torture myself with at a 10k this coming weekend. These Spartan chicks kill me in all the good ways. I am very lucky to have happened onto one of the most accepting and encouraging groups I have ever come across. I have pushed myself even more than I might have ever before and I'm still disappointed and wanting more and I love it!

Oh, and I got a pet rock and what a good companion it is. Being a Spartan Sparkle Chick is amazing!